Choose Wisely
// December 31st, 2009 // No Comments » // Football, General, Sports
Any hour can be our finest or our darkest; it’s our choice. It’s a simple word with a lot of weight this idea of choice. As a noun many of us find ourselves thankful to carry this option in our back pockets, as if it presents an inalienable right we possess to live our lives how we wish. But when called upon in verb form, when any of us are asked to CHOOSE, it becomes a loaded gun that when engaged becomes so rife with outside opinions, inner anxiety and a plethora of criticism, negativity and judgment from every which way that many find themselves so afraid of the possibility of choosing incorrectly and incurring the subsequent punishment, they’d rather hideout from the prospect of having to choose at all. The concept of choice has never been more prominently displayed than in college football this week where two highly prized coaches left their coveted positions one by choice, the other forcibly without choice, leaving the world to wonder what they will do at this new and unexpected juncture in life.
If one were to enter the home of any true sports fan while their team is playing on TV, you’ll find a unique phenomenon known as the armchair coach. All sports fans do it, confined to the walls of our living room we find ourselves screaming at our players, coaching from our seats, demanding from our team a better output, whether it’s protecting the quarterback more effectively, being more accurate when turning a double play, or finding consistency when shooting outside the paint. Yet we can yell and rant or cheer for our team, without the added pressure of our decisions weighing into the game, without the fear that precedes all choices, without the ridicule that comes from choosing incorrectly and facing your team’s defeat. In every one of us is a coach waiting to break free, but it was growing up on the tennis courts that I’ve found the closest experience to that of the internal painful dilemma of coaching.
Tennis players often find themselves alone in their own world, talking and rallying themselves because the solitary confinement on the court prevents them from so much as speaking to their coaches and thus they are forced to become their own coaches, to internally strategize at all times, thinking 2 or 3 plays ahead of their opponent, trading blows without ever physically engaging, and forcing away the fear, the torment, that they might be making the wrong choice and falter. They are forced to push aside all fears because every tennis player much like every coach knows that in the heat of battle indecision breeds defeat.
In the middle of a game decisions are made quickly and one is resigned to stand by them for better or worse, but when the competition is over and the teams retreat into their daily lives, at what point does this expectation of always choosing correctly and never faltering, never wavering, carry through to our personal? Urban Meyer was praised and respected this week when he chose to leave his champion football program at Florida for a renewed focus on his deteriorating health and family time. While many questioned his departure, no one questioned the choice that was made, it was a done deal and the world would have to be content with letting him fade away into seclusion. But the moment Meyer returned with a change of heart, deciding to only take a leave of absence but in effect return to coach the team again, he was met with extreme skepticism, annoyance and critical opinions from the outside world, as if he had exposed human weakness in his indecision, a weakness the outside world demanded never to see, despite the fact that any human would find himself/herself in the same role struggling to let go of the now and enter into the unknown not knowing if his/her best days are over. It’s as if we expect more than pure human weakness from our coaches and our players, as if we want our generals on the field to be as certain in their own lives as they are while in battle.
Mike Leach was removed from Texas Tech this week after complaints from a player about inhumane treatment at practice. Without the ability to stand up for himself, and despite the outpouring of support from players and other coaches stating that that which was published in the media was sensationalized and unsubstantiated and should have remained a private matter within the organization, Leach was forced out due to the media onslaught. He brought a football program out in one of the most remote sections of the country from an athletic wasteland to a respected, winning, recruiting machine that could compete with some of the best football programs in the country. Yet the moment he made a choice that showed weakness, acting out on emotion whether out of anger or just utter annoyance due constant whining and complaining by an athlete, he was criticized, relieved of his duties and left to question what lies ahead.
Is it any wonder then when watching Urban Meyer’s or Brett Favre’s indecisiveness about their personal career decisions attacked with harsh criticism, doubt and negativity from the outside world, or Mike Leach’s insignificant (at least seemingly at the time), emotionally infused discipline choice at a practice derail his entire career and overshadow his accomplishments, that so many of us find ourselves wriggling in fear when presented with having to make a choice for ourselves? It’s as if all of us must be born with an innate ability to always choose the right path, to never falter, never question, never be indecisive, but how can anyone live up to those standards when we are all error prone, when it is a standard of our very human nature to falter at times? Maybe Leach should have never disciplined his player, maybe Meyer should have never updated the public on his deteriorating health and his daughter’s heartwarming hug, maybe Favre should have ignored his desires to return to the game and stuck by his choice to remain in retirement from the beginning. But isn’t the beauty of each of us that we are given those choices to make, that we can choose our destinies, change our destinies, follow a less beaten path or a new adventure at any time in life?
At the end of the day it is not our critics or our judges or any outside force, but rather our internal apprehension that is the most dangerous to surrender to. Fear exists like a gateway drug, you give into the small ones, let them eat away at you and soon you’re struggling in severe pain at the bigger ones, feeding an uncontrollable addiction as your fears mount and grow and your mind develops new and disturbing ways to view the negative ways in which the choices you make could harm you. Still it’s a question we must ask as we enter this new year are we all simply slaves to fear, or can we resist the uneasiness over the strange and unfamiliar, the judgments, and the hypocrisy of those who seek to criticize our choices, but in retrospect hardly know what path they would choose in the same situation. Instead of fearing choice, can we activate our self-confidence, our inner positive monologue, and learn to embrace this right to choose?
We will all stand at a crossroads at some point in our lives, forced to choose a path to take in our journey. But our biggest danger is not the unknown, but our own lack of self-confidence. As we stand choosing our fates we must breed hope, encourage our own success, visualize prosperity and face the outside negativity, making our decisions based upon what we hope and desire most for ourselves. I hope for anyone finding their crossroads in life that they are merely setting themselves on a new journey filled with success. For Leach I hope he finds a new rewarding opportunity in college football and gains another chance to lead a program and build champion athletes. For Meyer I hope he is able to find a balance between work and life, one in which his family and his health are cared for first, and in effect any job he has in the athletic world is subsequently strengthened by it. For Favre I wish for him to play football until he simply no longer has the passion or the physical desire to play anymore and then I hope he will find other avenues to share his talent with gifted athletes. And for all of you out there, I hope when you face a road in life requiring a choice to be made, you find calmness and inner peace where many feel fear and darkness, and you willingly take that leap into the unknown, face the negativity and the skepticism with a fighting spirit, and learn and grow from this challenge. For those who walk proudly down that unpaved road I know you will someday find the fortune that awaits you.
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